


Let Go

by archaicacid



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-08
Updated: 2014-05-08
Packaged: 2018-01-24 01:00:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,127
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1585862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/archaicacid/pseuds/archaicacid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Erwin has difficulty finding the balance between normalcy and being completely lost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Go

Erwin jolts awake from his dreams. He can’t distinguish them from his nightmares anymore, so he’s never quite sure. Somehow there’s always elements of both, Mike kissing his neck and holding his arm, keeping him steady then Mike being ripped away, snapped in half and the blinding red that covers the images in his head.

His breathing is heavy as he rolls over to see Mike beside him, mouth open. He’s snoring, rather loudly, and Erwin laughs. Of all things to pull him back, it’s this. But it’s something he can count on.

Mike sleeping soundly means normalcy, in some form, whatever normalcy is for them.

Erwin moves Mike’s hand from around his waist, sets it on the bed as easily as he can and slips out, heading for the bathroom. His face feels hot, flushed with dread and unpleasant emotions that he can feel all the way down to his feet.

He’s exhausted, somehow, despite sleeping more than he usually does, but his body feels weak. His physical therapist said he was making progress, but it always feels like one step forward and two steps back. He gets frustrated easily, and really, he’d never been so quick to anger before, but his arm fucking _frustrates_ him.

He can hear the floorboards squeak as he splashes his face with water, realizing that he hadn’t bother to lock the door when Mike gives a soft knock, waiting for Erwin to respond.

He doesn’t, staring in the mirror instead as he reaches for the towel beside him to dry his face. His doctor told him to be careful, to keep up his eating habits and to not skip meals, that was one of the most important things to watch.

Hunger was hard to get back.

His sex drive was next.

Neither had fully recovered just yet and Erwin wonders how Mike can stay.

He sighs before opening the door and Mike stands there, arms crossed over his bare chest. He looks worried and Erwin feels small, like somehow he’s done something wrong that he’s should have told Mike about, but neither of them say anything.

Mike reaches for him, slowly, like Erwin’s a wounded animal waiting to strike. And he is, isn’t he? He’s a wounded animal and Mike doesn’t want to make him feel as though he’s cornered, he’s only ever trying to help.

Loyal Mike.

Mike-

Erwin lets him touch, lets Mike pull him forward and kiss his messy hair. Only everything feels like it’s a mess and he can’t stop it.

"Come back to bed," Mike says, before adding "please."

Against Mike’s chest, Erwin nods.

When they settle back into bed, Mike puts his arms on either side of Erwin’s head, hair falling in his eyes.

Erwin swallows and waits for Mike to lean down, to kiss or bite, but it never comes.

He’s asking for permission, Erwin realizes. Mike would never do something without asking, no matter how sure he was that Erwin wanted it. He was patient and all too trustworthy.

Where his right arm should be aches, a dull throb that moves to his chest, and before it goes farther, he grips the back of Mike’s neck with his left hand and pulls him down, tugging at fine hairs.

The kiss is desperate on Erwin’s part, hot and open mouthed, and Mike has to slow him down.

When Mike pulls away he smiles before leaning down to kiss at Erwin’s neck. His beard is rough, leaves red scratches as we works down to Erwin’s chest and Erwin doesn’t know if Mike is possessive enough to hope those marks are there in the morning.

Mike bites Erwin’s chest, teeth and rough hairs moving across his nipple and the answer is _yes._ A quiet possessiveness that Mike knows Erwin needs.

He’s always been good at that.

Mike kisses further, down Erwin’s stomach until he reaches the top of the drawstring pants he wears to bed. There’s that silent question again, wanting to know if he’s allowed to go further.

Erwin reaches for Mike, running his hand through his hair and nods in confirmation.

That’s all he needs.

Erwin lifts his hips and Mike tugs at his pants, tosses them somewhere across the room. It’s dark still, the lights have been left off, but they can still easily make out the other, shapes and sharp features visible.

Erwin can see Mike smile as he kisses down the tops of his thighs, pointedly ignoring his cock. Nightmares have long since been forgotten and now Erwin hisses because Mike seems to be taking his time instead of focusing at the task at hand.

But Mike had always been unhurried and sex was no different.

"I’ll take care you," he says, gentle reassurance, because Erwin’s gone from exhausted to impatient.

And he always follows through with his promises.

The first lick up the side of his cock makes Erwin’s back arch, it’s slow and deliberate and _warm._ Mike’s tongue is flat and broad and completely obscene, but the only thoughts left now in Erwin’s mind deal with fucking Mike’s mouth.

It’s a welcome distraction.

Mike wraps his arms under Erwin’s hips, curling them around his thighs to keep him steady and his licks and sucks, and with only one arm, Erwin’s leverage is complete shit.

That just means Mike can keep him where he needs.

He teases, like he always does, swallows Erwin slowly and lets his cock go with a small _pop_. There’s never enough heat and friction for release, only enough to bring him close to the edge and just _stop_.

"Just give me something," Erwin finally pleads, and had he spoken earlier Mike would have given him just what he needed, but he never does, always keeps to quiet throaty moans and shaking thighs.

Mike takes Erwin’s cock as far as he can, and doesn’t let up, moves a little faster than what Erwin expects and

 _ah_.

He laughs as he pulls back, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He can clean himself and Erwin later. For now, he just watches, sits on his thighs and sees Erwin come down from orgasm, chest expanding and stomach twitching.

"Good?"

Erwin responds with a shaky laugh of his own, not thinking of why he awoke in the first place, too focused on Mike sitting between his thighs.

He gestures for him to lay down and closes his eyes as Mike settles next to him.

"Thank you."

Mike hums in response and kisses the top of his head, curls around Erwin as best he can, but their heights are too close for it to work nicely. Neither really mind.

"Are you alright to sleep?" Mike’s voice is a deep whisper when he asks.

"I’ll be fine."

 


End file.
